2013, the year of dancing

All things 2013…fresh starts, new ideas, the beginnings of manifestations and dreams. Many of them not to be realized, as action most often does not follow idea for most of us, but the possibilities are all there.  It’s a frenetic and scary time of the year. Do we move into the light as winter solstice has encouraged us to do or so we remain stuck and inflexible. It’s a time for forgiveness for amends and for action.

I started the year dancing. Free form, booty shaking, breakdance dance-off, clear the dance floor worming dancing. I show up to parties most often hesitant and anxious. I still mourn the loss of my life long friend alcohol in party moments. I’m still a toddler in social situations. But as I said good-bye to 2012 and awaited all things 2013 it looked like this.

The coffee tables get moved and couches are pushed back. I begin to embrace the internal stirrings of movement and music and baselines. I awkwardly start to shimmy. “Do I look stupid? Fat? Is it obviously that I feel uncomfortable?” I notice that others look silly dancing too, and their freedom makes me let go even more. Soon enough I am dancing like an 9-year-old spinning, gyrating, blue-steel face making. And I am surrounded by people who are comfortable, free, supportive of my dancing freak flag flying. The thought of a drink doesn’t cross my mind for hours. It’s all action, all movement, being propelled into greatness, all things 2013.

I almost didn’t go. I almost stayed home to continue building my monstrous Ikea bed that I am convinced will catapult me into being a real live adult as opposed to the poser who still lays their mattress directly on the floor and has to kick it back in place every morning, just like the drunk addict hippy loser I used to be. I started building it at 5:00pm claiming I could build the bitch in 2.5 hours, full well knowing it would be more like 5 and partially knowing that it could be my excuse to not make it to the party. I borrowed tools from my friends Stephen and Kathryn in the beginning. They asked if I was coming to the party. I said yes, unless the bed building got in the way. Did I tell them as a way to get out of the party? In hopes they would beg me to come? I don’t know. They know I can’t drink and I’ve shared how much party going can be a struggle for me. I then got this text 20 minutes later from Stephen, delicately and thoughtfully crafted with guidance from Kathryn:

“I forgot to tell you: we’re all so happy that you’re coming to the party tonight. You’ll make it a better and more complete celebration, and a more appropriate way to start 2013, which I predict will be an especially rad year. (So don’t try to get out of it.) “

So I feel loved. And surrounded by greatness in friends. And I have faith for a great partner to come and even greater adventures. And I will remember that dancing is a direct lifeline to greatness in action and freedom from self. 2013 will be a year of all kinds of dancing.